Lyadophilia

I know where my towel is...

2010-05-25T19:50:00.005+05:30

Douglas Noel Adams is my favourite author, just because of his style of writing. Rarely have I come across any writer/person with such an unbelievable sense of humour combined with a flair for the language. On Towel Day I seek to educate people on the importance of a towel, with an excerpt from the book "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"...

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."

So long Douglas, and thanks for all the fish!

Lyadophilia

2010-04-04T15:32:00.008+05:30

It has been a long long time since I posted anything. The main reason is not that I didn't have anything to write, it's just plain old JU lyadh [lethargy, for the college-lingo challenged people]. I hardly have a month left of college, so this is a very small incident that highlights the extent of my lethargy, for which I have the great JU culture to thank. This is what the name of my blog means, love of lyadh!!

Normal day, same old same old.. Me sitting in front of my computer. Tisfz asks me for a link to an image I posted on my facebook wall (a hilarious dig at Mafia Wars players) a few days back. This is what went through my mind in the moments that followed...

[ My posture at the computer table will help people visualize this better so I am trying to describe it to the best of my ability...

My left hand on the keyboard, on the left side. My feet spread below the table, one on the floor and one on the rod connecting two legs of the table. My right hand on the mouse. Thumb on the left side, 2 fingers on the body, 2 on the right side.]

-- Haven't bookmarked it.

-- Image does not have a name which I can type in my address bar and it will pop up.

-- Two options

1. google talk chat archive [rejected, gmail not opened, too much effort]

2. facebook wall. [approved, since my facebook page was open].

- Ok i press Ctrl+Tab with my left hand and get my facebook home page into view.

-- This is what it looks like roughly [I have used wiki's facebook 2010 page as a model]. The pointer is as shown.

-- How to get to my wall??

-- The most obvious solution -- 'Me' on the top right ['Me' stands for 'Profile', I use Facebook in Pirate language]

-- But that is too far!! I have to move the mouse diagonally [via path B] when I can do better. Any person who has a vague idea of the basics of geometry will know this.

-- Go straight up, via path A. Less distance. Type GA in the search box. My name will appear. Click on it. VOILA!!! My home page!!

Then the usual followed and I got the link.

The interesting thing about this is how quickly my brain processed the situation. It was almost natural. Path A might have involved more effort on the whole because it involved typing two characters and one more click, but it was the more atractive solution as I only had to move one finger of my right hand while path B meant exercising all 5..

Ironically I have put in a lot of effort to describe this... :P

What do you think?

More weirdness later...

Robin Hood and the Miracle of Nottingham Castle, Part Deux

2009-09-21T23:46:00.002+05:30

One basic realization I had about PJs was that the build-up is as important as the punchline. You gotta build up the anticipation, build up the sense of impending doom, as is with most listeners, or should I say, victims! That is why this joke is unique, it's the sequel to the original Robin Hood joke. In case you haven't read it, you can find it here. I would advise you to read the previous one because otherwise there's no point reading this sequel..

So Robin missed the first time. He wasn't happy about it. After all, he was supposed to be one of the best archers in the country, couldn't he hit a guy on a wall?! So he thought, 'I'm not letting this guy go, where are my arrows??'. He was out, so once again the Bengali merry man comes up and offers a female, unmarried arrow to Robin. A quick roll of the eyes later, realizing he had no choice, he aimed at the guy. The previous miss came flashing back to his mind. He was angry. He wanted the sentry dead. He fires. Unfortunately, there was a sudden gust of wind, which blew the arrow way off course. It headed away from where the sentry was standing, towards the outer walls of the castle. There it went, but as fate would have it, there was a guard who had just got up and was on his first round. It hit the guard square on the head but since he was wearing a good helmet, it bounced off, apparently without causing much damage. BUT, from the shock of the arrow hitting the guy's helmet, the guard instantly dies. The arrow, a light supple arrow, which didn't pierce the helmet, killed the guy. The question... HOW?!?!

[ Answer coming up ]

The arrow was female. Tiri.
The arrow was unmarried. Mistiri.
BUT the arrow had no AIM (read M). Istiri.
So if an Istiri comes at you from that far out and hits you on the head, it's not good news man, you have little chance of living.

!!

More weirdness later.

Champions' League

2009-09-15T23:02:00.002+05:30

Another season of the UEFA Champions' League gets under way tonight. It's not as fun as it used to be when they showed it on ESPN and Star Sports with the good Sky Sports commentators though. TEN Sports sucks, they bring random people as 'experts' who clearly know less about the technical aspects of the game than you and I. I mean, people with vague claims to fame, like 'John Doe, lives next door to the groundsman of Old Trafford' ... COME ON!! Get some proper people to analyze the game, geez...

Anyway at least they're not gonna show just the English clubs' games this time, much to Agent Zero's surprise who had been fearing that they would show 'something like Liverpool vs Debrencen in stead of something like Real Madrid vs AC Milan'. This is the beauty of the tournament, European superpowers clashing at any stage of the tournament truly meant for Champions.

Funny thing, my mind suddenly drew a comparison with the over-hyped 'Champions Trophy' of cricket coming up in October. WHY is it called the Champions Trophy?! Who are the Champions?! With all due respect, West Indies might have won the World Cup a couple of decades back but they are NO champions. Neither are England, New Zealand, Pakistan and 4 other teams out of the 8. There's no logic behind calling the thing a "Champions Trophy", it makes no sense. Then again, much of what happens in the cricketing world makes no sense. Over-hyped teams, over-paid players, I could go on and on about how cricket is ruining Indian sport especially football and hockey but let's reserve that rant for another post shall we? This one was about THE REAL sport, ie football..

Enjoy the season maties, and to a particular matie, don't get too carried away with Fantasy Football...

Comptine d'Un Autre Été

2009-09-01T00:52:00.003+05:30

This is an impromptu post.

I've been listening to this track for a while now. It's 2 minutes and 19 seconds long. There is many an occassion when I've just put my Windows Media Player on repeat and listened to this track for 20-30 minutes continuously, like now.

It's part of the Amelie soundtrack, by Yann Tiersen. Amelie is the best Romantic movie I've ever seen, definitely in my top 5 list of favourite movies. You should watch it if you haven't already.

The strangely wonderful thing I discovered right now may seem normal to some, weird to others but I find it unbelievably soothing, relaxing, addictive and maybe that's why I've been at it for the last half an hour. It's nearly 1am in the morning and I have an early class the next day.

The thing is, I found a Flash Piano on a site and liked it. This was a while back. Sometimes boredom made me try out songs, tunes and stuff there and I even used it to tune my sitar loads of times. The thing is, I figured out which notes the guy was playing in this song. Knowing those, I tried to add my input to the song. That doesn't mean editing. The song's playing on WMP, I'm playing the flash piano. There is a slight time lag but that doesn't really make much of a difference since I'm not playing the real thing. I've been adding my rhythms and to hear the result is simply awesome. I didn't want to stop, but *sigh* I have to go to sleep now. Maybe I'll listen to the song a couple more times on my mp3 player in bed :)

PS. There's no way to measure how much you like something, a song say but the 'Play Count' column in WMP is a good indicator. Needless to say, this, being my all-time favourite Western music piece, is on the top. The 2nd, 3rd and 4th entries have been played 29, 28 and 26 times since July/August last year. This is the 191st time I'm listening to this track.

Robin Hood and the Miracle of Nottingham Castle

2009-08-21T00:03:00.001+05:30

PJs are the order of the day. Well at least they were a while back, dunno about now. In college, I was the joke guy - I used to entertain people during our laboratory classes by narrating one poor joke after another, mostly ones I came across. I use the word 'was' because many people aren't really entertained by it anymore. That sort of helped me to get started making my own. If I may say so myself, I have been successful in creating some unbelievably nauseating and gut-wrenching such 'jokes' and simply love to see the reaction on the faces of the people who realize they just wasted two or three minutes of their life on THAT. Anyway this is perhaps the first real elaborate one I came up with. I think it has a better effect when told in person, but most of my friends already know this and the others I don't think I'll have an opportunity to narrate to in person. So, here goes...

[ NB : Please don't question the logic, as there isn't much of it. Also, you need some basic Bengali vocabulary, just basic. ]

Situation:

Robin Hood and his merry men are at war with the Sheriff of Nottingham. The war has lasted 2 days. On the dawn of the 3rd day Robin wakes up early and finds the castle in ruins. Another 12 hours of sustained attack will do it for them.

Suddenly he spots a sentry on a turret of the castle and thinks, well I'll take care of this SOB. He prepares his bow, finds that he's out of arrows! One of his merry men, who incidentally was Bengali, steps up and gives him an arrow. Robin thanks him but the Bengali guy stops him and tells him the speciality of the arrow he offered. He says "Robin, this is indeed a very special arrow. It is sacred, we Bengalis consider it a female unmarried arrow and hence it is holy, it's bound to do the trick." Robin goes "WTF?!" But thinks, this guy's from India, they have all these weird traditions and stuff so he doesn't make much of a deal.

He aims and shoots, and lo! he misses! The arrow misses the sentry by a whisker and falls inside the castle. An hour later, the castle is miraculously repaired, all their hard work undone. They lose the war.

How did this happen?

[Scroll down a bit]

Solution:

The arrow - tir (Bengali arrow)
But it wasn't a tir.. it was female, hence a tiri...
It was unmarried too, hence a miss-tiri.
So if you send a mistiri flying into a castle you can guess what will happen...

10 things which may not seem so but are oddly satisfying.

2009-08-10T15:55:00.003+05:30

This is not a tag, I've been meaning to write this ever since I managed to do #4 on this list a week back. No order or anything, the list is numbered randomly.

#1. Getting the last seat on the bus to college.
A really good feeling although I know that I'll get screwed later, since the last seat is always at the rear and getting off the bus when it's full isn't that easy, especially when you are carrying a football in a plastic packet.

#2. Seeing the 'Free Space' of your hard disk increase after burning stuff into a DVD and subsequently deleting that stuff from your HDD.
Well this doesn't seem that odd but when your DVD writer conks out 5-6 times in as many months, trust me, it is a sight to behold. My HDD's capacity is 120GB but there was a point of time a month or two back when I had just 3GB or so free. So you can imagine.
I get a similar feeling when I hear the rusling sound when I empty my recycle bin (in case I forgot the Shift button when I was deleting stuff).

#3. Doing a perfect Neck Stall.
I like showing off by doing tricks with a football but I do look like an ass sometimes because I haven't perfected them. For those who don't know what a Neck stall is, it is simply kicking the ball into the air and catching it on your neck. Awesome feeling when it works perfectly...

I'm not the guy in the picture by the way.

#4. Shelling a boiled egg and obtaining two pieces of the shell.
Normally when you shell a boiled egg you look for a crack and then pick at it, ultimately getting about 100 small fragments of shell. Getting just 2 pieces is hard, try it.

#5. Seeing the football field almost completely dry during the rainy season.
When you hate playing football in the mud as much as I do, you'll understand.

#6. Waking up early in the morning, checking the time and realizing that you can afford to sleep 2-3 hours more.
This is anything but odd and everyone has felt this. I had to include this because I love sleeping and sleep an average of 8-9 hours per day.

#7. Start of the new English Premiership season.
The months of June, July and August can be rough every alternate year as there are no good football matches on TV. Take this year for example. We had a week or two of the Confederations Cup and then, NOTHING. Regular football on weekends (watching at least) has become a necessity in my life. I can't wait for 15th August...

#8. Pouring out just the right amount of Chili Sauce / Tomato Ketchup.
This one is nice. It's basically realizing you had poured out just the right amount of sauce (so that you don't waste anything but also don't have to pour again) as you're having your last piece of French Toast or Chicken Cutlet or anything for that matter.

#9. Receiving an attemped 'missed call'
No one really does this anymore but a few years back people used to bug each other, during a boring class for example, by continously giving 'missed calls' to their friends. I was on the receiving end (pun intended) a number of times and simply loved it when I managed to answer the call, costing the caller a buck and making sure he didn't bug me again, temporarily at least.

#10. Walking on a clean pavement and seeing a person throw rubbish into a proper bin instead of on the pavement.
This may sound silly but when you hate littering as much as I do, it's not. I like to see my city clean. Although the 'non-litterer' is actually doing what he should be doing, it feels good to see people who don't subconsciously make the city dirtier and then complain about it.

Wow I actually finished this in one sitting. Anyway more weirdness later...

Quit Playing Games With My Heart

2009-07-15T16:43:00.002+05:30

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Put your iTunes/Ipod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG TITLE DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the meme from.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Runaway Train

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The Pink Panther Theme

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Kashmir

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Pather Pachali Theme

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Fable (Dream Version)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Celtic Fiddle

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I'm Like A Bird

WHAT IS 2+2?
Kambakht Ishq

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Terminator 2 - Main Title

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I Just Called To Say I love You

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Over the Rainbow

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Deewana Hua Badal

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Lambada Techno Mix

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Big Cat

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
TV Themes - The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Coca Cola Weed Song

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Old McDonald Had A Farm

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Largo al Factorum - The Barber of Seville

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
A Face in the Photograph

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Nahin Saamne Tu

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Rebel Rouser

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Animal Song

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Les Deux Pianos

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Silver Bells

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
La Valse D'Amelie (Piano Version)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Pyar Hua Chupke Se

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Josie

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Mission Impossible Techno Mix

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Vilayat Khan - Raga Yaman Kalyan Live 1

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Quit Playing Games With My Heart

Thanks for the tag Yash. I know it's really unfortunate I still have Backstreet Boys on my computer.

A New Level

2009-06-15T11:14:00.002+05:30

Wow it's been over 6 months since I last posted.. Talk about laziness and procrastination! I think this is a new level for me since I feel lethargic to the point of cancelling the football meet today.

I'll post more frequently as some of my friends have asked me to, with some of my home-made nauseating PJs.

JoIncidence with a C

2009-01-07T12:45:00.005+05:30

Chandler Bing is my GOD.. well, one of them anyway. The others are Garfield, Douglas Adams... hmmm I could write a completely different post on this ( and I probably will ) so I won't go into further details. The Poker episode of Friends is definitely one of the funnier ones and one exchange between Phoebe and Chandler springs to mind...

Phoebe : "Hey, have you guys noticed, Poker is Joker with a P .. coincidence??"

Chandler : "Hey that's Joincidence with a C !!"

I don't think any 'emoticon' is fitting to describe my reaction to that so I'll just leave it at that.. Speaking of coincidences, one of the freakiest ones that has ever happened to me happened a couple of months back when I went to my first class at this coaching center for a competitive exam I'm gonna give in November this year. It is in New Alipore, just behind the Taratala Petrol Pump, which is about a 10 minute bus ride from where I stay in Parnasree. Parnasree is a nice place, it's not really small like a single locality but more like a collection of many. It has its own bus stand and three or four Auto-Rickshaw routes.

It was a Sunday and we were supposed to have an "Evaluation Test" or something, before beginning any classes. It was supposed to start at 10am but I was there by 9.35. Don't get me wrong, it was because that was my first class. I am NOT a punctual person. My studying in JU and being a native of Kolkata should be enough to back up this statement. No one really cares about punctuality except a few weird Professors here and there who are never late. Anyway I am diverting from the main story. There I was, 25 minutes early, the only guy who had showed up till then. I waited inside for 10 minutes, looking here and there, and here again.. there really wasn't much to look at except a few of those confidence boosting sort of posters your Moral Science / Value Education teacher probably showed you in school.

A guy shows up at 9.45. I had never seen him before (this is important ). Thankfully he is sort of smart and after a few seconds he extends his hand and says "Hi, I'm D" ( I have no idea whether it's ethical to take a person's name without his / her permission so let's just call him 'D'). I introduced myself and this is basically what I remember of our conversation..

D : "Hi, I am D".
G : "I'm Gairik"
D : "Your first class?"
G : "Yes, yours?"
D : "No I had joined in October but I missed some classes so they suggested I join the new batch".
G : "Ok."
D : "Where do you study?"
....
I am summarizing the next part. I basically learned that he's a third year student ( same as me ) of Haldia Inst of Technology, studying Electronics and Instrumentation. I tell him what I do and we talk about our colleges and syllabus and stuff like that for a couple of minutes. We see a girl enter ( I'm gonna refer to her as M ). I have never seen her before (this is important). This is where it gets interesting. After a few awkward glances shared between the three of us she starts a conversation which went like this...

M : "Excuse me, is this your first class?"
G : "Yes, yours?"
M : "Yes, mine too"
G : "Ok."
( I'm not much of a talker as you may have guessed)
In a desperate bid to reduce the awkwardness I ask her..
G : "I'm Gairik."
M : "Sorry?"
G : "My name, Gairik."
M : "Ohh ok, I'm M."
G : "Sorry?"
M : ( repeats her name slowly )
G : "Oh ok, so where are you from?"
M : "College or where am I from?"
G : ( In the form of a barely audible mumble accompanied by a shrug ) "College"
( Obviously you don't ask a stranger where he/she lives in a situation like this but she didn't quite understand what I had said which was evident from her reply )
M : "I live in Behala, Parnasree.. have you heard of it?"
!!
G : "Uhh yeah, I live there too.. Which part of Parnasree do you live in?"
D ( interrupting ) : "Hey I live there too."
!!!!
( Well, I ask myself, is it possible to know every person in such a big place? Of course not. Ok so that wasn't weird at all. )
M : "Near Bhuban Centre bus stop, you?"
G : "Me too."
!!!!!!
D : "Hey me too."
!!!!!!!!
( Ok now it was getting embarrassingly weird )
G : "Where??"
M : "Arey in that gali, ours is the first house."
D : "I live in A Apartments".
G : "I live in the house next to the one next to A Apartments"

The guy can probably see my house from his window and I can see his. I can see the girl's house from my balcony too. So it turned out both of them are sort of my neighbours who I haven't seen in my life. They haven't seen me or each other too. The guy moved here a couple of years back and lives in his college hostel so I may have a teeny tiny excuse not to know him, but M said she's been here for over 8 years!

"Man is a social animal". If I had a buck for every time I wrote that in an essay I would.. well I would have enough money to buy a Chicken Special roll from Bedwin perhaps but my point is clear. We just found ourselves the most unsocial man in the history of mankind - yours truly! It was weird. Anyway we had a few laughs over it and ultimately I made myself a couple of friends!

I've been meaning to write this incident for a long while now, but lyad overcame me and it's only because I am sick and stuck at home with nothing to do that I finally got around to writing it.

Feel free to comment.

More weirdness later.

PS. : I managed to do quite well in that test, thanks for asking!

Another dream

2008-11-21T23:34:00.003+05:30

I try to make this blog anything but a dream diary but I really couldn't help writing this one because again I am amazed at load of diverse unrelated rubbish my brain weaves together into what is fast becoming a night-time freak show, so here goes...

[ Background information needed : I have tuition today from 10am to 2pm after which I'll go to the Argus Open Quiz which starts at 4pm ]

So I leave the institute and as I am about to head home, the receptionist there also exits and tells me there's a good seminar thingy on some topic and asks me whether I would like to attend. I agree. So we start walking to the bus which will take us to the place. It's evening all of a sudden and we end up in this warehouse area and walk up to a biggish enclosure surrounded by a wall which had to be at least 20 feet high and an equally humongous gate. To my surprise, as if she was SpiderWoman, she effortlessly scaled the wall and headed for the bus which was inside the enclosure. I my jaw drops open and I try and find a way in, not wanting to miss the bus. Anyway I search the area looking for a possible way in and after about 5 minutes I do find a way in after climbing the smaller wall of the building / factory next to it and finding a low spot in the huge wall. I get in, board the bus which starts.. the huge gates open and the bus stops outside and picks up some students who were waiting for it outside ( It was at this point of time when it occurred to me that I could have just waited for the bus like the other people did ). So we're off to the seminar thing which we are told will happen some place ( I forgot the name but I do remember it was some place outside Kolkata ). It was some time into the bus ride when I remembered I was supposed to be at DI for the Argus Quiz.. I freak out, my watch says 6.30pm and I get off the bus immediately. I call my team-mate who I figured would be fuming because I didn't show up. To my surprise he tells me "chaap nish na, amra emniteo qualify kortam na, shob buro-buri ra stage-ey uthechhe". I am sort of relieved and start to look around. I had no idea where I was, all I knew was that I needed to head back home. Suddenly I notice 3-4 other people have gotten off the bus with me and one of them, a girl who I have never seen in my life, comes up to me and holds my hand and we start walking, as if she was my girlfriend :| :| .. I have no clue what is going on but think "Ok, this is nice, I have a girlfriend apparently" but disregard the fact that I have no idea whatsoever who she is. Interesting side-fact, her mother was walking right behind us. So we walk and meanwhile I ask for directions to get back to Kolkata and some people point me towards a bus stand. I am in this locality, sort of like a neighbourhood marketplace with a few teastalls, a grocery shop or two.. anyway I spot the bus stand and walk towards it when my 'girlfriend' bursts into song, '90s Bollywood style, with backgorund music and all. Her mother looks at her approvingly and I am like "what the hell is going on?!?!?!" .. Sadly, I don't remember anything after this and hence conclude.

No detail is made up. Feel free to comment.

I'm off to sleep.. more weirdness later.

Littering, Part Deux

2008-11-15T23:32:00.004+05:30

As the lyad increases and the exams inch ever closer the posts dry up.. Anyway a significant 'breakthrough' if I might put it like that in my 'fight' against littering if I might put it like that..

The commute back from college recently has been tiring with the two hours of football it follows and the 15-20 minute wait for the bus at the 8B bus stand. Well on Friday I didn't have to wait, found a nice empty bus waiting for me at the stand so I got my preferred window seat near the door. This is not important. The guy who ended up sitting next to me apparently felt an urge to eat some chips and bought a packet from the guy who sells Roy Co. chips everyday at the Bus stand. This is sort of important. As soon as he opened the packet, thoughts began to race in my head and I started thinking about the politest way to tell the guy ( who seemed good-natured enough ) NOT to throw the packet on the road when he was done with it. So 15 minutes and 4 stoppages later I see him finish the packet and as he is about to throw it ..

Me : Sir, ekta request kortey pari ? Packet ta please rastaye felben na, amake diye din, ami pore fele debo.

Guy : * a blank stare on his face with his left hand still near the window *

Me : Ei packet e diye din, emniteo nongra achhe ( I had my football in that packet )

Guy : "ekhane diye debo?"

Me : Hain.

Guy : * drops it without another word *

Me : Thanks.

Felt good... Hopefully he was freaked out enough to repeat the incident to his folks at home. My folks reckon I was lucky not to get beat up.

End of story, more weirdness later..

Weirder Dream

2008-10-20T23:51:00.001+05:30

This is a dream I had on 15th September, round about at 8am in the morning. Considering that I remember almost every single detail, this has to be one of the weirdest I have ever seen or even heard someone else recollect in my life.

So I am in this huge auditorium with a big stage which was empty for the time being. It was about half-filled with people my age and also lots of kids in school ( my old school, DBPC ) uniforms. Some of them are facing the stage, some are facing the opposite way ( that is the way the benches were arranged mind you ). Anyway I spot this kid near the back who was sitting alone and I go up to talk to him. Turns out, funnily enough, that kid was me, as a six year old. I somehow had managed to meet a 14 years younger version of myself. Anyway I remember talking to him ( me ) for a while.. we talked about school, about how our shoes were similar, stuff like that. Next, I'm getting the feeling ( finally ) that something ain't right, so I see a friend of mine ( college classmate who recently got a new cellphone with a 3mp camera ) in front and ask him to take a picture of me and me together ( to prove that I had met myself later ). So we go out of the auditorium and land up in the central wing of our school's top floor. It was raining pretty hard outside but anyway both of us stood, my hand on my (younger) shoulder and my friend took the picture. I actually did not expect the picture to come out well ( firstly, the younger me was fidgeting a lot and secondly, there was something going on in my mind, sort of like when you take a picture of anything remotely paranormal, it comes out blurred, like one of the Final Destination movies ). So my friend takes the photo and surprisingly manages to get a print-out of it from his phone ( !!??! ). It turns out to be a bus ticket for the Rs. 4.070 BUT it is, as I expected, sort of blurred in the middle. After all this I go in the auditorium again along with myself. I don't remember talking to him ( me ) after that. I did run into some classmates of mine ( school classmates in class 1A, they were 6-year olds too ) sitting with their back to the stage, about 5-6 of them together.

Next thing I remember, one of our Principals comes on stage, everyone stands up and the morning prayer begins when I realize my shirt was gone. I am standing and praying, without any shirt, feeling a bit embarrassed about it when I spot another schoolmate ( grown up though ) in the same situation. A bit calmer, I started searching for a shirt and fortunately came across an extra one in my school bag. Phew!! Next we line up to go to classes and end up doing so and going to the old 1st floor classrooms in the junior school side. One unnecessary detail I remember is that there were a couple of rolled up "The Telegraph" newspapers lying in the corridor. Anyway we enter class when I realize I didn't have a tie. Only place to search, I open our class cupboard and instead of books and hopefully a spare tie lying around I find it filled with my dad's shirts.. I search frantically and when I finally do come across a few ties in a corner, I feel incredibly drowsy, fall asleep and then wake up ( in real life ). End of dream.

Although some people, like my brother, thought that I had made most of the stuff up later, I didn't..

More weirdness later..

Memories.. and a small Tribute..

2008-10-14T19:50:00.007+05:30

I listen to the genius, Pandit Nikhil Banerjee on his birthday ( he would have turned 77 if he would have been with us today ) as I write this.

As mentioned before, Yaman Kalyan is too awesome to pen down in words. The sense of peace I get listening to this alaap by him is tough to recreate. I am yet to hear anyone who can create the 'mood' which is required while listening to any classical piece as good as Pt Nikhil Banerjee did. Here ends this simple tribute..

Two days back, my father reminded me of a 'funny' gag he and my family used to play on me when I was very little. Whenever I was out, my father would say "Ebar tor biye debo, meye khuji" ( "time to get you married, let's search for the girl" for those less conversant in Bengali ) and I would absolutely freak out and start screaming in terror !! I think I was about 3-4 years old then. The funny thing ( to them at that time, NOT to me ) was that they got me worked up and terrified every time they said that, I wasn't able to call their bluff, not even a single time. As of today I am officially old enough to get married and it's strange how this incident, one I had completely forgotten, came back into my memory two days before today!

Speaking of terrifying little kids, another memory came rushing back. Back when my grandparents ( Dida and Dadna ) were alive, we used to live in the ground floor of my house. There was this show on TV "The Invisible Man" which I was scared to death of, so when my brother watched it I used to run upstairs and "take shelter" in the company of my grandma. What my dear older brother decided to do one day was turn both TVs .. upstairs and downstairs to "The Invisible Man". What resulted was me running upstairs and downstairs continuously for half an hour, screaming and crying. Everyone found it unbelievably funny but I sure didn't back then. I am willing to forgive my brother in spite of the traumatic experience if I get a full written apology though :P.

Like most others, I often wish I could relive my childhood again. We were truly innocent back then, I wonder how much has changed for kids nowadays..

Music I

2008-10-11T22:40:00.004+05:30

The first of many rants about music you can expect here..

I am currently listening to Comptine d'Un Autre Été by Yann Tiersen for the 7th consecutive time. It's part of the score from the movie 'Le fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain' ( Amelie to you and me ) and jointly the best piano track I have ever heard in almost 21 years. ( The other one is a track in my computer called Piano Concerto 26 by Mozart ) .

Real music is undescribeable really. By real music I mean real music, not the sort you get to hear in recently released Bollywood movies or VH1's "Hip Hop Hustle". To me good music has to have the ability to make you forget anything else is going on around you. That's it..

I learn sitar, but Piano has to be my most favourite instrument after the Sitar. Any good pianist can take you away to somewhere else altogether. People like Yanni, Richard Clayderman, Robert Miles are all really really good but what sets apart the track I'm listening to from those by Yanni and Clayderman is the fact that no other instruments were used in the song. I listened to that track 14 times in a row once, 9 times now.. Most people would fall asleep listening to the same song over and over again, but that's the basic difference between my type of music and theirs.

There have been many phases in the last couple of years, phases lasting two or three weeks when I used to hear a single song at least once every day and at most 5-6 times consecutively at a go. Does this happen to everyone? For example, for the past two-three weeks I have been listening, without fail, to a 5 and a half minute piece by Ustad Imrat Khan ( in which he plays alaap in Surbahar in Raga Yaman Kalyan ). After watching American Beauty there was a phase when I listened to the track "Arose" about 50 times in 2 weeks. There She Goes by Sixpence None The Richer, True Love Waits ( piano version ) by Christopher O'Riley, the Amelie track, the Mozart track, a piece of music that played in the process of installing the Rogue Spear game, Trade Winds by Craig Chaquico ( guitar piece ) .. I could go on and on.. have all been part of such 'phases'.

I have been successful in changing many of my friends' taste in music by nagging them continuously to listen to my favourite stuff and it seems to have worked, cos Smart Primate apparently listened to the Amelie track 30 times today :P. Lots of other examples are there but this is getting boring, I stop here. More when I think of interesting stuff to write.

Statistics : Music I have listened to while writing this post :

Comptine d'Un Autre Été by Yann Tiersen x10
Arose by Thomas Newman x11
Piano Concerto 26, Mozart x3
Trade Winds by Craig Chaquico x3
Piano Concerto 21 in C Major by Richard Clayderman x1

The Shawshank Redemption

2008-09-29T00:12:00.013+05:30

Tribute to the best movie I have ever seen, one of the best ever made.

The first time I saw the movie was way back in about 2001 or 2002 on my brother's recommendation. I liked it then but since i was pretty much a kid back then I didn't really appreciate it much. Next time was some years later when I got the 'full blast' sort of. The most underrated movie ever, it's impossible to describe in a few words really, almost every aspect of the movie is about perfect. The best part of the movie has to be the voice-overs by Morgan Freeman as "Red". Each one is beautiful, each one is perfect.. the choice of words, tone of speaking, everything.. Events in the film are very well spaced out and the ending has to be one of the best ever. So for all the lesser fortunate souls who haven't seen the film, I strongly recommend getting a hold of it. If you doubt my choice, 376,534 other people have voted to make it #1 in IMDb's list of top 250 movies. Go watch it.

Cheers!!

Littering

2008-09-24T23:01:00.004+05:30

I had the fortune of visiting the US of A in 2004 ( lucky as in I got to go there when things were a bit better than today of course ). The first thing that struck me in the 1 hour drive from the airport to my Aunt's house was the 'Greenness' of the place.. It was like driving through a sea of lush greenery. [ I need to work on my vocabulary and learn good comparisons and stuff but you get the general picture ] Anyway the other thing about most of the places I visited in my month-long stay was the general cleanliness of it all. Roads, parking lots, public places were unbelievably clean ( everything is relative of course, I have been living in Kolkata all my life.. ) Places like Maumee, Ohio had roads which could have been sat on without your clothes getting dirty. It was sometime around that point where I made a vow never to litter, consciously or unconsciously anywhere and prevent everyone I knew from doing so. This has made me sort of unpopular when I am with my friends in certain situations. While eating a roll for example, I prevent everyone around me from throwing pieces of paper on to the street just because "everyone does so". I can proudly claim to have littered just once since 2004 ( I threw a toothpick in the side of the road in Park Street ). My next aim is to pluck up enough courage to tell random strangers off for littering, the guy who sat next to me in the bus ride home for example. After enjoying a good number of 'tele-bhaja's and muri, he promptly proceeded to wipe his hands using the paper 'thonga' and throw it out on the street when he was done. All I could muster was a disapproving glance at him *sigh*.

So here's to anyone who reads this.. Stop throwing stuff on the roads, or anywhere for that matter. Stop your friends and family from doing so. Only two things can be gained.. a pretty satisfactory feeling and of course, cleaner surroundings.

As a footnote I would like to add that I bring home stuff if I can't find proper places to dispose of them. Frooti, Appy tetra paks, Monginis paper boxes, bus tickets, etc have all found their way to the waste-basket in my kitchen from various parts of Kolkata.

Weird Dream

2008-09-20T23:44:00.001+05:30

OK so this is my first blog entry, ever.. What better way to introduce my weird brain than with this dream I saw recently ( which was big hit with whoever has heard this by the way ).

So I'm in my ground floor of my house ( it's two - storied, we live upstairs, only furniture and stuff downstairs ) minding my own business when this short, overweight, fair, female ninja with a blond ponytail ( oh yes ) comes up to me with what can only be described as an agressive attitude. The courageous guy I am, I run for my life, into one of the bathrooms and try to lock myself in but she's too quick, pounds against the door while I desperately try to keep her from getting in ( the sort of scene you get to see in any cheap thriller, except with the gender reversed ). Suddenly the 'struggle' stops and I see a knife being passed to me under the door and she says "Take that one, I have an extra" !! Uhhh okkkk .. I take it and we start fighting .. a sudden blackout .. I am standing in the dining room, 4 such knives in my hand, she has none and is begging for mercy but I decide to kill her, which I do.. Now what?? .. I have a dead body and no way to dispose of it... So I do the only logical thing, flush her down the toilet, but she gets stuck.. END OF DREAM..

Judge me if you want, I have absolutely no idea where all this came from.. Didn't see any sort of movie the night before, I'm not scared of short fat ninjas or knives for that matter.. Anyway beats me, more weirdness later..

I'm off to sleep now.